Girl Fight, continues

So I've mentioned the brewing literary fight between the girls who don't mind writing entertaining fiction (even if they call it chick lit) and those who are desperately trying to be Taken Seriously. There are two short story anthologies that get to the heart of this battle. One (the better one naturally, because I'm in it) is "This is Chick Lit." The other is "This is NOT Chick Lit" where basically the foreward reads like someone desperately trying to get respect at their high school reunion. The editor of said anthology actually declares that the authors within are the best women writers today. You know, so much for Toni Morrison. Someone tell her that Jennifer Weiner just dethroned her.

Not that I have anything against Jennifer Weiner. Or any of the other authors included in the "This is NOT Chick Lit" book. Most of them are charming, talented writers.

But here's the thing. My feeling is anyone who goes around shouting "I'm a serious author! I'm literary!" is protesting a wee bit too much. It's a lot like standing up at the gym and shouting "I have a really small butt!"

Let's face it, if you have one, people already know you do. If you don't, well, shouting about the fact that you do isn't going to change the fact that you wear size XXXXXXXL pants.

But, read more about "This is Chick Lit" on the brand new site:

www.thisischicklit.com.

And in completely frivilous news, don't forget that you just have two days to enter the Get Juicy! Contest. Drawing is Tuesday!

I'm melting!

I must apologize for neglecting this blog! Summer has really gotten away from me this year, and I think it has to do with the fact that it's really, super, asphault-melting hot out there.

Global warming anyone?

It's supposed to hit a hundred degrees in Chicago today and might be the hottest day of the year. I grew up in Texas, but that doesn't mean that I like 100 degree weather. In fact, it means that I'm a Central AC girl, which unfortunately, I don't have in Chicago. So, I've barracaded myself in my bedroom with my new AC window unit, and I'm praying we don't have any blackouts.

But, on to cooler news (much cooler!) I've just found another glowing review of Wuthering High:

http://www.curledupkids.com/wuthhigh.htm

This proves that Wuthering High isn't just for kids - adults like it too! If you haven't checked it out yet, head to www.bardacademy.com for more info. And by the way, don't forget to enter the Get Juicy contest, if you haven't already. I'll be giving away posh accessories August 15. Okay, so it's not a car like Oprah, but on the upside, you don't have to pay $5,000 in taxes on it, either.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go stick my head in my freezer.

Where's Suri? And Do We Really Care?

Okay, so in between writing the sequel to Wuthering High, and doing other various, author-like things, I've still managed to find time to read up on my celebrity gossip in US Weekly and People magazine. I haven't managed to vacuum at all, but I have priorities - sheesh. People comes first. Besides, technically, I read People for the book reviews. Can you say, business expense? Ahem. Anyway.

So, US Weekly is running on their website a clock counting down to the second the time that's elapsed since the birth of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' baby, Suri, which happens to be the same amount of time since we haven't seen the little bambino (83 days, twelve hours and counting). I've heard all kinds of rumors about why this is - like they tried to sell exclusive baby pictures but were disappointed they didn't fetch as much as the Brangelina Baby to Suri is actually an alien who can't be exposed to sunlight.

Okay, so I haven't heard that part about Suri being an alien, but given the Scientology obsession, I couldn't help throwing that in there. But here's the thing. I don't care if I don't see TomKat's kin. I think we should all be glad they're laying low for awhile. I mean, I don't need to see Tom jumping on any couches any time soon, thanks. My new book Wuthering High is about a haunted boarding school, but nothing in it is as scary as Tom Cruise going off on Matt Laurer about prescription drugs. Ee gad.

And by the way, speaking of Wuthering High, it's featured on Barnes and Noble's picks for teen reading this week. Check it out.

And if you haven't yet, don't forget to enter the Get JUICY Contest!

Wuthering High Hits Stores - Stampedes Ensue

Okay, so I don't think there are any stampedes. Officially, Wuthering High comes to a book store near you this weekend (everywhere by July 4). If you haven't yet bought your copy - what are you waiting for? Sure, it's for teens. But aren't we really teens at heart?

Sarah wrote in and wanted to know how many books would be in the Bard Academy series. There's definitely one more in the series (because I just finished it and turned it into my editor), but the rest of the series is up the air. I'd love to write more Bard Academy books, but it really depends on how well they sell. This means that if you want to see more of them, tell everyone you know to buy one! Reading, as always, is optional. The buying is the thing.

I'm officially out of contracts with my publisher, so I won't find out until September if I'm renewed, or if like Star Jones, I'll be surfing the pages of Monster.com for a new job!

By the way, who else secretly loved the fact that Star Jones got the public smackdown from Baba Wawa?

And by the way, don't forget to enter to win fab prizes at www.bardacademy.com/contests.html

Happy Fourth of July to everyone!

Win Fab Prizes!

Okay, so you all who know me know that I am shameless when it comes to self-promotion. However, this doesn't mean that I don't appreciate you listening me drone on about moi. In fact, to reward you, I'm having a special contest to help promote my new book, Wuthering High, which hits book shelves this week. (Ahem, and as my Dad tells me, since he's already pre-ordered his copy, it is also shipping now from Amazon).

Go to www.bardacademy.com/contests.html and enter to win Juicy Couture accessories, and pass along the link to anyone you know in the teen set (or who's young at heart like I am!).

The Lockwoodettes Party!

Okay, I think I may have mentioned before that I have the best friends ever, and I have to say, it's true. I have the best friends EVER! I know you probably have some good friends. I'm sure they are good. They may ever been great. But are they the BEST FRIENDS EVER?

Take, for instance, Kate Miller, one of the stars in the Lockwoodette Posse. Not only did she buy up all the books in the store, last night she threw me a fantastic book signing party the likes of which I doubt many Wednesday nights have ever seen before. There was wine and fruity drinks. There was food. There was lots and lots of fabulously dressed and very witty attendees. It was, in short, a party only one of the most dedicated friends in the world could throw. (Thank you, Kate!).

Mind you, Kate managed to throw said fab party after only a day before having her central AC die, which would've made for a very sticky party situation with our humid, 90 degree days of late. But she prevailed, and I think she only had to promise to sell her first-born child to Visa to have the new AC installed. This is what I call friendship, people! You don't know the total cost of her bill. As she put it, the cost can be summed it up two words: "Holy Crap!"

Thanks again to everyone who came! And a special thanks to my talented friend, Christina, who personally made party favors - keepsake bookmarks. They were as fantastic as the people who came. Thanks, everybody!

Come on Down

For those of you in or near Chicago, I'm going to be signing books at the Old Orchard Barnes and Noble in Skokie this Friday, June 23, at 7:30 p.m. I'll be reading from "I Did (But I Wouldn't Now)" and signing books with Stacey Ballis, fellow Chicagoian and the very funny author of Inappropriate Men and her latest, Room for Improvement. Stacey is a riot, and if you think I'm entertaining, trust me, she takes the cake!

Drop by if you want to chat, tell us how great we are, buy our books, or if you'd just like to make a stop on your way to check out the Lacoste store at Old Orchard. I won't mind.

Hope to see you there!

Birthdays, and other reasons to eat cake

Sorry for the delay! I was busy celebrating my birthday week (festivies continue through the end of June). There's nothing quite like having guilt-free cake. Isn't cake consumed on your birthday calorie free? As, of course, are all alcoholic beverages.

As for the best birthday present ever, I heard about some more good reviews for I Did:

www.inthelibraryreviews.net/LockwoodCara.html#ididbutwouldnt

And one for Bard:

www.inthelibraryreviews.net/LockwoodCara.html

It's always good to know that my mom isn't my only fan. :) By the way, thanks to everyone who wrote in about being excited about Bard! I think you'll really like it. You don't have to be 15 to enjoy it, either. In fact, I found that writing about teen life was a lot more fun from an adult's perspective. Plus, it's the summer, and we all need a little action and adventure!

For those of you who missed it, the new Bard site can be found at www.bardacademy.com.

Bard Online

I am very lucky to have some very talented friends. One of them, Christina, has just finished a fabulous new web site for Bard Academy (the new series of teen books I'm doing). You can visit it at www.bardacademy.com.

If you like the classics, and you are a secret fan of teen shows like I am (there is something addictive about MTV's "My Sweet 16" even I have to admit), then I think you'll really like Bard Academy.

The first in the Bard Academy series, Wuthering High, is out this fourth of July. What better way to celebrate our nation's birthday than a little trip to a haunted boarding school where ghosts of famous writers stalk the students? I mean, that's as American as apple pie, isn't it?

My mom thinks so. And, by the way, Mom gives her maternal seal of approval for Wuthering High. She read it last week and gave it two thumbs up. And, if you think she's too biased to give an honest opinion, I should tell you that my good friend Shannon also gave it her approval. And she's very particular about what she reads, and isn't afraid to tell me when something really stinks, either. I love her for that. If she's on board, you KNOW it has to be good. And I didn't even bribe her with a shopping trip to DSW Shoe Warehouse.

Happy Day-After-Memorial Day

So, I, like most of you, spent the weekend in somber reflection of the sacrifice of our veterans. And by somber reflection, I mean stuffing myself with an obscene amount of bbq, while awaiting word from Namibia about Brangelina's baby.

Thankfully, the Brangelina baby made an appearance, so now we can all stop obsessing about how the World's Most Beautiful Baby can never be president of the United States (being born on foreign soil). I mean, sure, the baby is being touted as the New Hope for Humanity's Gene Pool, but she'll never give a State of the Union address. Unless Schwarzenegger manages to get an amendment passed before Shiloh turns 35.

In other news, it's hot here in Chicago. And by hot, I mean that it is really freakin' hot. Now, I grew up in Dallas, where you could get third degree burns from your steering wheel if you were foolish enough to leave your car out in the sun without a windshield visor. So, I like to think I'm tough, but frankly, my condo is sweltering. I knew it was bad yesterday when my Yankee Candles started to melt without being lit first. The real problem is that I, like most Chicagoians, don't have central air.

Even my laptop is sweating. And that can't be a good thing. I tried to find refuge at the mall, but the closest one to me is an outdoor mall. I don't know what genius figured that was a good idea (Christmas shopping in three feet of snow, anyone?). Thankfully, Nordstrom is air-conditioned, and has all the major life support needs (food and drink at the cafe, shoe sales and an endless supply of beauty products). If they had a bedding section, I would've probably slept there.

I'm off to buy a Super Giant Big Gulp. I think maybe if it's big enough, I could try swimming in it.

Stay cool!

Girl Fight, Part Duex

So, the girl fight continues.

You can take a sneak peek at the cover of "This is NOT Chick Lit" on Amazon (black with bold pink print). For those of you who don't know, I'm in the opposing anthology called "This is Chick Lit," available in June. (For more on this, see my last post.)

Now, to add fuel to the fire, Gloria Steinem has been quoted as saying:

“This Is Not Chick Lit is important not only for its content, but for its title. I’ll know we’re getting somewhere when equally talented male writers feel they have to separate themselves from the endless stream of fiction glorifying war, hunting and sports by naming an anthology This Is Not a Guy Thing.”

Now, I have immense respect for Gloria Steinem. But, I think the whole idea that anything with "chick" in the title is demeaning is taking things a bit too far.

I like chick flicks. And chick lit. And chick rock. Heck, I even like the Dixie Chicks. It might, although I'm not positive here, have something to do with the fact that I AM a chick. I mean, what next? Will I have to abandon pedicures and shopping because it will undermine my credibility? Or stop watching Desperate Housewives or Gray's Anatomy because my husband makes fun of them?

Not to mention, I think Ms. Steinem might be out of touch. Has she heard of Metrosexuals? "A Guy Thing" today might include an eyebrow wax.

But, all that being said, I am a feminist, but I'm also a humanist. (I'm rooting for both sexes - that is, unless my husband wants the remote).

Girl Fight

So while I'm figuring out just what Novel 5 is going to be about, there is a way to get your chick lit fix BEFORE next spring.

In fact, at the end of June, there's going to be a fantastic short-story anthology out called "This is Chick Lit" featuring authors such as Lauren Baratz-Logsted (The Thin Pink Line), Jennifer Colburn (The Wife of Reilly and Reinventing Mona), Arielle Papa (On the Verge), Heather Swain (Eliot's Banana), Caren Lissner (Carrie Pilby) and Me - of course.

The reason this book is called "This IS Chick Lit" is because there's an anthology by a group of authors called "This is NOT Chick Lit" coming to a book store near you. Now, I don't know if you all know about the brewing debate about Chick Lit, but it basically goes like this:

There are some women writers who resent their fiction being labeled as "chick lit" and feel it's demeaning and undercuts their literary credibility. There are other writers - like me - who don't really care what you call it, as long as readers find and enjoy said books.

The dueling short story anthologies point out the differences in both camps. Personally, my general philosophy is to write for readers, not write for critics, so I don't really care how derisive the New York Times is of girly covers. I mean, I'm not writing for them. But that's just my two cents.

Anyway, look for This is Chick Lit, coming soon!

Some news and a glimpse into the future

First off, I'd like to say thanks for everybody who's written in to say they like "I Did!" I seriously must have the fastest (and smartest) readers of any author I know. You guys are the best.

Second order of business, for those of you fast, smart readers in the Chicago area, I'll be at Barbara's Books in Marshall Field's in the loop tomorrow at noon signing copies of "I Did (But I Wouldn't Now)." By the way, they make fabulous belated Mother's Day gifts (at least, my mom thinks so).

Third order of business (and not in any way the least important), Sara posted a very good question on the blog recently, which is "What's next for me in chick lit?"

Unfortunately, the answer is: I don't know.

I'm between contracts at the moment, and my agent is talking to my editor right now trying to work out a new agreement. Fear not, I suspect that I'll still have a chick lit book out in 2007.

As for possible topics, I'm kicking around the idea of a sequel to Dixieland Sushi (Jen goes to London to meet Riley's quirky family and then when Jen's family gets word that she's (possibly) eloped the whole Nakamura clan flies in).

The other idea is one I'd been thinking about for a while, a kind of he-said, she-said modern retelling of Taming of the Shrew. But, at this point, maybe neither one of those ideas will actually become a book. You never know with these things. Ideas are strange that way. Some of them are definitely book-length, while others pitter out around fifty pages.

Sara says she wants to see a sequel Pink Slip Party - and so do I! I'm just trying to figure out the best way to do it. When I have a stroke of brilliance - which I haven't had yet, but one can still hope - I will let you know.

Dirty Dish-ing

So, I must apologize because I have been woefully neglectful of a very important topic - celebrity gossip. I've been entirely too book-focused of late, and have skirted my responsibility (as a consumer of People magazine and occassionally US Weekly) to dish dirt on celebrities.

Frankly, even for the part of my brain that stores celebrity gossip (I believe it's the entire left side of my brain, because I certainly can't do math), it's been a bit of an overload recently.

Where to start? Katie Holmes, Suri and Insane Tom Cruise (I'm sure Tom will sue me shortly after this is posted to have this removed from my blog)? Denise Richards running off with Richie Sambora? K-Fed officially being crowned the Most Fertile Man in North America?

One of you asked recently about my thoughts of Britney and K-fed's news, so I suppose I should start there. Recently, I defended her against the tabloid speculation that Britney wasn't in shape because she was preggers (because she wasn't Playboy-ready in 2.4 seconds like the rest of Hollywood's elite). I thought even Britney, whose bad judgment is legendary (marrying K-fed, going barefoot in trucker bathrooms and driving with baby Sean Preston in her lap) would know better than to let Kevin near her without proper protection (Frankly, I would be wary of sharing an elevator with him at this point). I was, however, proven wrong.

All I can say is that I certainly hope Spears, Jr. #2 benefits from the hardwon parental lessons of Sean Preston. And, that Britney forgoes nanny help (least spending too much one-on-one time with K-Fed leads to Accident #3).

Now, on to the Denise Richards saga. I met Denise and soon-to-be ex Charlie on the set of the Lifetime adaptation of "I Do (But I Don't)." (And yes, I realize this is name-dropping, but as I've said before, what's the point of meeting celebs if you can't tell people you have?) Lately, my friends have been asking me if the 10.2 minutes I spent in Charlie's company led me to believe he was capable of surfing (possible child) porn, or doing any of the other things alleged in Denise's custody battle papers.

The answer is no. Charlie was very well-behaved, had a firm handshake, was all eyes for baby daughter Sam, and carried on a very pleasant conversation with me that had nothing do with drugs or hookers. He was very nice, in fact. He said he'd seen my book around the house and liked the cover art. I'll take compliments, even when I don't deserve them (for art I didn't create), so that earns him points in my book.

I can't pretend to know what happened between those two (although I do because I carry on the charade that they have my number on speed dial), although the very fact that Denise is now allegedly roaming about L.A. with Richie Sambora tells me perhaps poor Denise might be suffering from some of the same problems Britney is in the judgment department.

But what do I know? That's just my two cents.

The Lockwoodettes

There are a group of friends I thank in the acknowledgements of "I Did (But I Wouldn't Now)" that I call my back-up singers, the Lockwoodettes. The lead singer, Ms. Kinsella, I dished about last week. Her tearful antics have sold me dozens of books, and for that I am forever grateful.

Not to be outdone, Kate Miller decided to buy out the local Borders herself. Lockwoodette Swartz had this to say about Ms. Miller:

Cara,
Let me paint a picture for you...Charlie [Ms. Swartz's adorable schnoodle] and I are walking down the street last night around 7pm, much to our surprise a cute vintage Volvo slows down & out pops Kate Miller's head. She pulls over, we cross the street to say hello & as I slowly approach the car I peer in to say hello-- there it was...the ENTIRE front seat was filled with fresh brand new copies of "I did (But I wouldn't Now)"!! I think she wiped out the store's stock--she must have! I think she even justified her actions by saying "I did leave a few for other people!"

Anyway just wanted to keep you updated on your roaming PR team & if you check sales stats, I'm positive they spiked around 6:30 Monday evening--its all Kate's fault

It just goes to show that the Lockwoodettes work very hard to earn their acknowledgements. Thanks, girls! And by the way, anyone else doing incredible PR feats (including but not limiting to: getting strangers and/or friends to buy the book, buying multiple copies, and/or moving books around the bookstore for better placement), you, too could earn a shout out in future books. Email me with your PR stories. I'm nothing if not easily bought.

Marketing Whores are a Girl's Best Friend

Okay, if you live in the Chicago area, you might already know my friend, Bethie. She knows everyone in Chicago, although she claims there are a few people she doesn't know, but we all know that's just false modesty. Bethie, one of my nearest and dearest, is a woman of many talents. She not only puts Martha Stewart to shame, but this graduate of Second City is not afraid to corral strangers in book stores to buy my books.

Just last night, she convinced two strangers to buy my book by her patented "I'm in the acknowledgements" ploy, in which she heads to the front tables, picks up my book and then promptly bursts into tears. When she has a big enough crowd, she'll tell people the reason: that she's in the acknowledgements of said book. She claims she only does it to ensure she has a spot every year and because, naturally, she's my "Midwestern representation" and a self-proclaimed marketing whore. Honestly, if my books came with gold plaques, she'd have her name engraved.

Did I mention how much I love this girl?

Of course, she also extends the same PR to her two uncles, also published authors, Kevin O'Brien, a.k.a. master of the suspense novel, and her other uncle, Mike Leonard, whose new book is already on the bestseller lists.

Anyway, Chicagoians, beware. She's coming to a book store near you, and she's not afraid to cry.

Even Desperate Housewives Read

So, I used to be a huge fan of Desperate Housewives. Who wasn't? Then, it sort of got a little dull in the first half of the second season. That's when I turned the channel to BBC America and started watching Footballers Wives (if you haven't seen it, you must!).

Recently, however, I've tuned back in to DW, and it's gotten interesting again. I mean who isn't secretly hoping that Edie finds out Susan is the "other woman" and then beats the snot out of her? I'm sorry, but I've seen way too many close-ups of Susan's "oops - I screwed up again!" face.

But, I digress. The point is that back when Desperate Housewives was must-see Sunday TV (and it's creeping back up my Tivo list as we speak), I wrote an essay for a book about Desperate Housewives, called "Welcome To Wisteria Lane," which hits book stores later this month. Okay, so maybe I need to work on my sales pitch on this one, but even if DW has been uneven, this collection isn't!

My friend and fellow Downtown Press novelist, Beth Kendrick, also has a fantastic essay on motherhood (anyone who feels Susan ought to quit using her daughter as a therapist, needs to read this essay!).

My essay deals with the dangers of suburbia. Why is it that all the intrigue on TV soaps happens in the 'burbs? You've got to read the essay to find out! Check out the book on Amazon.

Tom Kitten and other calamities

Hi all,

So sorry I've been awol this last couple of weeks. I was trying to free Katie Holmes from the insanity that is Tom Cruise, but alas, I was unsuccessful. Is it just me, or does she have a glassy-eyed look in all the pictures of hers like her mind's permanently situated in its happy place? Personally, I think whoever was Tom Cruise's publicist for 10 years before she was fired and replaced by his sister, deserves serious kudos. He or she sat on a volcano of craziness for years and never let it actually erupt.

When I wasn't running celebrity interventions, I've been busy launching the new book - "I Did (But I Wouldn't Now)" - which is in some stores now, and coming to all stores very soon. You can also buy it now on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

And, in other news, I've finally joined the new millennium and gotten a page on Myspace. Given that I am over the age of 30, I feel a little like a creepy old person, BUT, some of my 20-something friends say it's the all rage among the kiddies, so I'm trying my hand at it, because you're only as old as you feel right? Anyway, my myspace page is http://www.myspace.com/caralockwood. It's bare and ugly because I am a myspace virgin, but I'm learning folks! If you're on myspace, invite me to be your friend. I think I have three friends at the moment, and one of them is Tom, which doesn't count because he's everybody's friend.

Mom really DOES know best!

Okay, I'm sure you're sick of me singing my own praises by now (I could lie and tell you that I am, too, but really, does a person ever get tired of bragging? I mean, really). My only excuse is that I'm sure I'll get an ugly Amazon review that will make me want to spend the day in bed, and this is just to balance all those out.

Two more reviewers sound off about "I Did" and they agree with Mom:


http://www.romancejunkies.com/artman/publish/article_4708.shtml

and


http://freshfiction.com/review.php?id=7971

Mother always knows best

It's less than a month now until the May 2 release of "I Did (But I Wouldn't Now)" the sort-of sequel/spin off to "I Do (But I Don't)" and I'm excited.

It's gotten at least two good reviews - one from an objective critic and one from my mom, who has never claimed to be objective, but has said, repeatedly, "I think this is the funniest novel I've ever read, and I'm not just saying that because I'm your mother and I have to."

Mom also says that this novel is funny until the very end, and doesn't let you down, like some other books do. That's mom-speak for "I liked it. I REALLY liked it! And I'm not just saying that because I'm your mother."

Now, if that doesn't sell you on the book, I don't know what will. This is my mom we're talking about. Forget the New York Times. Moms always know best.

Now, I won't tell you what my brother has to say on the subject, namely because he doesn't read my books. In general, his motto is "I don't read anything except the sports section" and if pressed, he'll say, "You want me to read this? It has purple on the cover!"