Me:1 Word Paperclip: 0

Hi guys,

I've managed to write a few more pages for my new book "I Did (But I Wouldn't Now)" - no thanks to that pesky Word Paperclip. Honestly, he's so smug with those heavy-lidded eyes. I know what he's really thinking when he asks me if I know the grammatical rule for using "which" in the proper context. He's saying: "You call that a character arc? Please."

Well, I showed him. Twenty more pages - done and done. Take that you smug little piece of office supply equipment! Me: 1. Paperclip: 0.

Today's (slightly morbid) Paperclip Fun:

Writer's Tip of the Day

So, I ought to be writing new chapters for "I Did (But I Wouldn't Now)" my Fourth Book, but instead, I'm writing this new post. "I Did" is a semi-sequel to "I Do (But I Don't)." It follows the misadventures of Lauren's younger sister, Lily. For those of you who read "I Do," you know who I'm talking about. For those of you who haven't - what are you waiting for? Go buy the book today! Kidding, I'm kidding. Sort of.

Book Four is due in August, or there abouts. I figure that I don't have to seriously consider running off to Mexico with my book advance until around July. That means I have plenty of time to procrastinate.

So, I'm indulging in a mild case of writer's block today. There's something about that blinking cursor in Word that is just so intimidating.

Maybe the blinking cursor should be a smiley face - what do you think? Or maybe, it ought to say encouraging things like "Really, you are a talented writer. You're not a hack like that anonymous critic on Amazon says. Honest! You can do this!"

I would like that Word paperclip guy a lot better if he gave me compliments. As it is, I pretty much want to crush him every time he appears. It's like he's mocking me, saying "Oh, I see you're writing a letter." No, I'm trying to write a novel! Thank you.

Okay, so I'm going to go back to Word. Wish me luck. If you hear that I've murdered the paper clip guy, you'll know why.

By the way, for those of you who want to take out your writer's block on the paperclip - check out this link:

http://www.idleworm.com/tch/pclip.shtml

The '80s Strike Back

As a person with an unhealthy fixation on the '80s (it's no accident every other chapter in Dixieland Sushi is a flashback to my favorite decade), I think this year is going to be the year of the '80s remake. There are two remakes of classic '80s shows headed to a movie screen near you: "The Dukes of Hazzard" and "Miami Vice."

I think everybody has heard about "Dukes of Hazzard." You can't open a single issue of Us Weekly without hearing something about Jessica Simpson's short-shorts and/or her alleged frollicking with Fred Durst.

Anyway, check out these photos of Colin Farrell as Crockett (courtesy of the Colin Farrell Fan Site):



Ah, Colin. I love you, but what is with the black socks and tan shoes? Anyway, this promises to be an interesting movie. Michael Mann is directing, so it's not going to be your typical remake.

And will there be speedboats? Oh yes, there will be:

Favorite '80s Moment - The Pre-Neverland Michael

Kate K writes:

You asked about fave 80s moments. Do you remember the insane amount of hype generated over the premiere of "Thriller" on Friday Night Videos? Excited doesn't begin to explain how I was feeling. I was beside myself when the couple I was babysitting for came home in the middle of it. I made the dad sit and watch the rest with me before I'd let him drive me home. Any MJ memories to share (pre-child abuse accusations, please)?

I definitely remember "Thriller" on Friday Night Videos. I never missed an episode of Friday Night Videos, mainly because we didn't have MTV. Mom didn't believe in cable because she said we had enough channels with our measly four (technically five if you put tin foil on the antennae).

I think my favorite Michael Jackson moment was the Gloved One moonwalking at the Grammys. After that, I pretty much destroyed the linoleum on my mom's kitchen floor trying to mimic the move. I think my Dad said it best. Upon catching my moonwalk, he said “So, I take it you got dog poop on your shoes?” Dancing, let’s say, it’s my forte.

Welcome!

Hi guys. Welcome to my blog. I'll try to keep it updated, but I should warn you that I'm a notorious diary slacker. From age eight to 18, I bought somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 diaries, and never managed to fill any more than about ten pages for any of them. My problem was, I'd write regularly for about three days, then I'd forget (because Dallas was on or something more exciting) and when I got around to reading my previous entries about two months later, I'd think: who is this self-obsessed loser? And why can't she spell?

So, I'm a slacker-perfectionist. There are worse things. It means you never actually do any work, but once you do, you're highly critical of it. I'm more of a type AB personality. I have the Type A desire to work hard, but the mellowness of a Type B, so I never follow-through.

Anyhow, drop me a line! I'm open for almost any discussion. Possible "talk amongst yourselves topics": Your Favorite '80s Moment and/or why you love my books (okay, that sounds a bit self-serving - how about why you think I'm the best author to ever live?).