Happy 'Ho-lloween?

Halloween season is upon us, and this means only one thing: how skimpy an outfit are you going to buy this year? Is it just me, or has Halloween become the night we all try to out skank each other?

Should we blame Elvira? Or is it just because secretly we all want to wear fishnet stockings and stripper's clear platform heels?

My second (related) problem with Halloween is - why is it so expensive? Since when does a skirt that barely covers your butt and fishnet stockings run you $50? It's getting to be a little ridiculous.

But then again, maybe I'm just jealous because my Halloweens are usually so lame. On your typical Halloween, "dressing up" for me involves a pair of cat ears and a black velour jogging suit (the elastic waistband comes in very handy for all those mini-candy bars I'm going to eat). It also involves me watching a scary movie on television and devouring an entire bowl of trick or treat candy.

On a good night, I get maybe one trick or treater, but I always feel like I should be prepared with at least two pounds of candy just in case. I guess I live in mortal fear that a busload of trick or treaters will show up on my doorstep (a condo building filled with retirees) and I'll not have any candy and have to do something lame like give them boxes of high-fiber, low-sugar cereal.

By the way, for a laugh, my friend sent me a link to this costume. Yes, there really is a place that sells a space vampire costume. Don't ask me what it is. I have no idea. But it's funny. Definitely funny.