In Her Shoes

So there's nothing better to distract me from writer's panic than some really good celebrity gossip.

I don't know if many of you have followed the exploits of Tara Reid, but she's almost as fun as Britney Spears. Case in point: her new show "Taradise," gives you all the pointers you need to embarrass yourself in countries around the globe. Don't know how to get sloppy drunk on a small, quaint Greek Isle? Want to find the best way to offend the locals? Tara is there to show you how.

The latest news from her show is that she's demanding a separate hotel room for her shoes. Now, I am very fond of my shoes, too, but I don't think they necessarily merit their own hotel suite.

I realize that I'm just jealous. I wonder if she's looking for a shoe caretaker. I'd be happy to clean off the frat house beer sludge from her Jimmy Choos for a free night's stay in a posh hotel on the Mediterranean. But then again, I'm easily bought.

I admit that I'm also feeling a little guilty about the treatment of my own shoes. They don't even really get their own room at my house. My closet is the size of the trunk of a Volkswagon Golf, and the shoes get about a quarter of that space. If my shoes read about Tara Reid's shoes, they probably wouldn't speak to me for a week. They'd file with Shoe Protective Services for neglect and abuse.

But most importantly, I think this demonstrates that I simply don't have enough money to waste. If I had that kind of money (or that kind of sponsorship from E!), I could waste money in really creative ways, too.

Maybe I'd make restaurant reservations for my jeans. Or charter a plane for my favorite purse. I could send my sunglasses on their own cruise.

And guys - don't forget - if you donate at least $25 to the Red Cross for the victims of Hurricane Katrina and send me your donation receipts at cara@caralockwood.com before the end of September, you could win a signed copy of "I Do (But I Don't)." Just email me your donation receipts at cara@caralockwood.com. I'll be picking winners on October 1.