I'd like to thank the Academy, Barnes and Noble, and my pals

Last night's book signing went well. I barely made a fool of myself at all, and it's nice to see that I have friends, even if I bribe them with food, drink and the promise of 15 minutes of fame in the acknowledgements of the next book.

I would show you pictures from last night, except that I am a dork and never remember my camera, which is why I am probably destined at some point to be abducted by aliens, see Bigfoot or witness some terrible celebrity crime, because I won't have the camera to record it and no one will ever believe me. ("Yeah right you saw Russell Crowe in a fist-fight with the Loch Ness monster, Cara. I mean, come on. Do you think I'm stupid? Everyone knows he doesn't like to swim.")

I once owned a camera phone, but it got washed along with my darks in the heavy cycle and never really functioned the same way again. Now, I have the junkie freebie phone because I'm trying to teach myself a lesson in responsibility (I've lost two phones, washed one, and dropped and broken another). Naturally, the freebie phone that emits more radiation than my microwave, is going to last forever. In ten years, when I have brain cancer, at least I'll be able to say that I saved the $100 on the phone upgrade and learned an important lesson in how to properly take care of my things.

But, I digress. First of all, I'd like to thank the Japanese American contingent that showed up en masse last night. Thank you! It brings me joy to see my peeps in solidarity. Long live the Yellow Panthers!

Second, to all my friends and neighbors, bless you all for buying (another) copy of my book. Without you, I'd have nobody to complain to about how my "wildly successful" career is "getting to me" and how I think I might need some "time away from the spotlight." I think we both know that I mean "I fear my publisher is going to release me from my contract and that I'm going to end up with a dead-end job writing useage directions on the back of toothpaste tubes."

Thanks to all who came and bought copies. My husband, in particular, thanks you. The books sold help feed his fantasy that one day he can quit his job and sponge off his rich novelist wife, instead of slaving every day to subsidize her "career." It helps me motivate him, especially when he starts to get surly about the fact that I can pretty much sleep whenever I want during the day. I call it "power napping." He calls it "sleeping until noon and then watching three hours of bad daytime television."