It's here!

Today is your lucky day. No, you didn't win the lotto (probably), but you DO have the chance to buy Every Demon Has His Day. It is offically in stores this week, and I want to caution that while I know you all are going to rush the bookstores, be careful not to run over any little old ladies on your way to the cash register. There are plenty of copies for everyone. No shoving!

For those of you who know me, the idea of a stampede ensuing at your local B&N for me, is sadly comical. That would only happen for one of my books, if say, Stephenie Meyer were there signing Twilight, or if J.K. Rowling came out of retirement. I once had a book signing on the same day as the release of a Harry Potter book. Nothing is more depressing than having a swarm of people in Harry Potter garb asking you - as you sit gamely behind your book signing table in front of your picture and a big stack of NON-Harry Potter books - where the bathroom is.

But, I digress.

Today is an excellent day because my book is in stores, and I will concentrate on that. It's a good thing I have this positive news, because I recently found out that, as I always suspected, I am, not actually, excellent. Recently, I was up for the 2009 Gayle Wilson Award for Excellence for Young Adult Romance (see the backstory here). I lost out to Hell Week by Rosemary Clement-Moore. I'm okay with this, if only because Clement-Moore's books are called the Girl vs. Evil series. How can you top that? Besides, I'm a big fan of sarcastic wit, and there's a lot of that in Hell Week.

And, fear not, I have not forgotten about the Every Demon contest. I will be announcing winners shortly. But don't risk it - head to your bookstore TODAY and buy Every Demon. There might be some Harry Potter fans wandering the aisles who will snatch up your copy before you get there. Don't take any chances.

I'm a twit

Okay, at long last, I've finally joined the Twitter Nation - I'm officially a twit. Come visit me at twitter.com/CaraLockwood. Now, you can find out just how dorky I am as I try to contain myself in 140 characters. And this is just what I need - yet another excuse to procrastinate!

I promise I won't use my Twitter powers for evil, like to tweet during the President's address if I happen to be in the audience (I'm talking about YOU house Republicans and Dem Claire McCaskill!), but since I'm most likely not going to be in a place where the President is speaking, I'll therefore promise not to tweet under dangerous circumstances like driving. I can't parallel park when I'm fully concentrating on it, so adding texting just won't work.

And for those of you on Facebook or MySpace, I'm on there too. Drop by and say hello.

And don't forget, if you haven't already entered to win a signed copy of Every Demon Has His Day - you've got two more days. I pick names on April 6! To enter, email me at contest@caralockwood.com.

A good buzz

And I'm not talking about the kind of buzz you get from three glasses of Shiraz (unfortunately), I'm talking about good critical buzz for Every Demon Has His Day (which, for those of you counting down the days, is out in less than a week). The critics are heaping on the praise, which is fine by me, because like I always say, if you have something nice to say about me, please say it often and where lots of people can hear it.

Single Titles
Romance Reviews Today
Steph Su Reads

The book hits stores April 6, but you can win your signed copy before that, by shooting me an email at contest@caralockwood.com. Or if you really, really can't wait, you can preorder it on Barnes and Noble or Amazon right now. They've been known to send out copies early (I have no idea how their mysterious warehouse distribution centers work, but they do!).

I'm a finalist!

That's right - I *might* just be able to call myself "award-winning" and not with my usual sense of irony (as in, "wow, look at that 'award-winning' parallel parking job I just did).

I just found out yesterday that Moby Clique is a finalist for the 2009 Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence in Young Adult fiction. See other finalists here. I get to put this nifty graphic on my website and lord my "probable excellence" in the face on my husband and any one else who will listen ("did you see that parallel parking job? it was a finalist in the race for excellence").

Technically, this wouldn't be my first trip to award-dom, and I'm not talking about that Honorable Mention for the race I lost in recess in third grade, either. I won a Reader's Choice Award in 2006. Of course, I actually didn't realize I had won it and I actually thought I'd lost. Read that sad, goofy tale here.

I find out if I am truly "excellent" in April, but in the meantime I get a finalist certificate (I'm sure it beats the pants off that lame green honorable mention ribbon of third grade).

I'll keep posting updates. In the meantime, don't forgot to enter my contest to win an autographed copy of my new book, Every Demon Has His Day. Five lucky winners will get a copy of the book before you can buy it. Just shoot me an email to enter.

Win it Before You Can Buy It!

It's that time again. No, it's not time to dump your fiancee on national television, Mr. Bachelor - it's time to give away autographed books!

Send an email (with or without anything in it but your email address) to contest@caralockwood.com before April 6, and you'll be entered into a drawing to win an autographed copy of "Every Demon Has His Day" my new book out next month.

I'll be randomly selecting five lucky winners (that means the electronic equivalent of putting names into a hat). I'll be notifying winners by email.

In the meantime, if you're feeling like you might be missing out on news, don't forget to join my mailing list (I'm actually sending out my first newsletter this week, and I'll be trying to send out newsletters regularly after that). Email me at join@caralockwood.com to get on the list EVERYONE is talking about. And by everyone, I mean my mom and my two-year-old daughter who keeps asking me to put the 'puter' down and turn on Dora the Explorer. Don't be left out of the loop. Join now!

Come visit the new caralockwood.com!

Hi all,

Okay, so I blew my promise to blog every day, but, hey, at least I didn't wait until next year to blog again!

I'm writing to tell you about the relaunch of my site, caralockwood.com. It's been redesigned by my very talented friend, Christina. She's also the webmaster for bardacademy.com, and edsanders.net. If you want to hire her, just email me and I'll forward your request on.

Let me know if you like it!

And, remember, you can preorder "Every Demon Has His Day" now on Amazon or Barnes and Noble!

Worst Blogger Ever

Okay, for the two people who are still checking this site after I've been MIA for nearly a year - my deepest apologies.

My only excuse is that I've been hard at work on my next novel (Every Demon Has His Day, which to your left you'll see the fantabulous (it's a word if I say it is) cover. Said novel will hit bookstores in April, but you can preorder on Amazon or at Barnes and Noble today.

The buzz on "Every Demon" is good. Publisher's Weekly calls it "Frightfully funny." What else kind of endorsement do you need? Ok, well, President Obama says it's a "must-read." Well, he might not have said that. He might have said something else entirely about the economy, but if he did happen to like fluffy romantic comedy/paranormal/oddball stories about a cook from East Texas who wakes up one morning to realize she's got to stop the antichrist, he would most certainly endorse my book. Not that I'd want him to. He's got way more important things to do (help us, please Mr. President!).

Anyway, since I blogged last, I also have managed to have a second baby, so I honestly don't know whether I'm coming or going. Am I typing on my keyboard right now, or is this some kind of dream where I'm going to wake up to realize I've fallen asleep behind the wheel of my minivan again?

Just kidding - I don't actually fall asleep while driving (knock on wood). Although I do have a minivan. Which one is scarier? My younger brother says driving the minivan is his worst nightmare - next to showing up at high school without having studied for a final exam wearing only his boxers. But I have two kids (almost under two), and well, you try putting a dual stroller in the trunk of an Accord. I have, and there was a lot of cursing involved.

Anyway, I am back in my blogging glory. Well, okay, maybe my glory days are behind me, but I promise that I'll blog more than once a year. Like, maybe even tomorrow, if I can get the girls to nap at the same time.

I Love LA

Today, it is dreary, wet and cold here in Chicago, but I'm pretending that I'm in sunny Los Angeles. And, no, it's not because I'm off my meds, but it's because Bard Academy is feautured today in the Los Angeles Times.

Check it out:

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-et-bookit10apr10,0,3534467.story

It's all 100 percent spot on. The reporter did a fab job with the story.

Somehow, this makes the optioning of the Bard Academy books all the more real. Keep your fingers crossed that this helps get a project made! And maybe they'll film somehwere sunny and warm and I can take extended trips there.

Moby Clique winners!

Just wanted to thank everyone who entered the Win It Before You Can Buy It Contest on www.bardacademy.com. And, we have winners!

Congrats to:

Spirit from New Jersey

Rachel from Connecticut

Nicole from California

Hannah from New Jersey

Karen from North Carolina

Lauren from Florida

Katie from Virginia

Meredith from Texas

Brianna from Massachusetts

Teresa from Wisconsin!

I sent the winners email notices today, and I'll be putting the signed books in the mail next week.

Bard Academy: The next Buffy?

It's official: the Bard Academy series has been option for a possible movie or TV show. Does this mean it will be the next Buffy the Vampire Slayer and will I retire on a giant estate in Hawaii like Magnum PI's myseterious employer? I sure hope so! At any rate, these things take a long time to develop, so there probably won't be any news right away, but you never know. Maybe I'll be hiring mustached bodyguards in short-shorts to drive my Ferrari around before I know it.

Keep your fingers crossed!

Right now, I don't have a contract for book four in the series, so whether there will be a fourth book is anyone's guess. Although, more specfically, I'd wager it's the guess of my publisher's accountant. I never know what that guy is thinking. I can hardly make heads or tails of my royalty statements. Honestly, they're like trying to read Greek. Granted, I suck at math, but even my husband who has a PhD in physics and number crunches for a living says they are impossible to follow.

And, in other Bard news, you can officially order Moby Clique on Amazon! Yes, Amazon jumped the March 4 date a tad. The only reason I know this is because my Dad called to tell me the books he preordered arrived in the mail already. Without Dad, I'd honestly have no idea when my books really come out.

In other ego-boosting news, there's been another glowing review of Moby Clique. Read it here:

The Book Chic

Win a Signed Copy of Moby Clique!

Just this week, I got advanced copies of Moby Clique delieverd to my door, and you know what that means: it's contest time! The extra copies are simply burning a hole in my office floor, so I have to give some away. You can enter to win a signed copy by heading to www.bardacademy.com/contests.html.

While you're there, you can also read the very top secret first chapter of Moby Clique (okay, so it's not that top secret, but you can read it first there!). Check out the new stuff at www.bardacademy.com.

By the way, all the updates are thanks to my very talented webmaster/designer/web goddess extraordinaire, Christina!

The early reviews are in...

And Britney is really a good mom! That's according to her pal, Paris Hilton. You know, because Paris has all those maternal instincts. It takes a nurturing soul to run through lap dogs faster than Starbucks double lattes.

By the way, I thought Paris was supposed to be doing some charity work. Isn't that what she promised us on Larry King after her release from jail? Does Britney count as a charity case? I'm not sure.

In other, happier reviews, at least one review likes Moby Clique (out in stores March 4 and available for preorder from Amazon now).

Moby Clique is "the best book ever written" - okay, so that's maybe not a direct quote from the review. I *might* be paraphrasing a bit, but they said something similar, I swear. Check out the new review at www.teensreadtoo.com:

http://www.teensreadtoo.com/MobyClique.html

I'm back and it's not six weeks later!

Wow. So, I've let a week and a half slide, but I'm sort of keeping my resolution. Blog more! So, here I am. Quite coincedentally, I also have some self-promoting to do (I mean, would it BE a Cara Lockwood blog entry without some shameless self promotion?).

As it turns out, you can currently buy advanced copies of the newest Bard Academy novel Moby Clique on Amazon. If you order now, it should get to your door during the first week of March.

I don't know how long you could've been ordering the third Bard book. You think they might tell us, or inform us in some official capacity, but I am always the last to know. I only just found it today, and that's because I semi-regularly stalk myself on Amazon to see what people are saying about me. Yes, this means I could be a pathetic narcissist, but I prefer to think of it as "market research."

Thankfully, I didn't find any new negative reviews (I've got my eye on YOU, ANONYMOUS!) and a couple of new positive ones, which is always nice.

So, now that I've talked myself up a bit, it's time to spread the wealth. My friend, Laura Caldwell, has a new book out: "The Good Liar." You might remember her from "Burning the Map" one of her earlier books. She's writing mysteries now, and she's damn good at it.

If you're looking for suspense, check out Kevin O'Brien's One Last Scream. He's one of the best suspense writers around!

Ah, resolution time

Happy New Year!

My first resolution is: WRITE MORE IN MY BLOG.

Yes, I've been a complete and total slacker, and I must apologize. I've left you all high and dry for a couple of months. But, I have a good excuse. I was kidnapped by aliens who held me hostage until I could tell them just exactly why Paris Hilton is famous. I was gone so long because I honestly couldn't tell them why. She's rich? She was in a sex tape? I don't really know.

While I may not have been kidnapped by aliens, I did move into a new house. And for those of you who haven't moved in a while, let me remind you a little of what it's like: it blows. I hate packing and I hate unpacking, and the addition of my darling one-year-old daughter did not help. Thankfully, I had my mother on hand to help (she's a Godsend) and she basically did 90 percent of the packing and I did 90 percent of the making-sure-Hana-didn't-eat-tape-and/or-other-packing supplies. I must say, we made a good team. Together, we got moved, threw my daughter a birthday party and somewhere in the mix I turned in my third Bard Academy novel and my new adult book, Southern Fried Omens (out next summer). I don't know how I did it. The last six weeks are a blur.

But, I'm back to wish you a very happy 2008. Oh, and because I've got six weeks of backed-up publicity whore mongering to do, I should also mention that now is the perfect time of year to pick up "In One Year and Out the Other" - now in convenient mass market paperback! It's a short story collection featuring moi and lots of other talented writers and every story has a New Year's theme. It'll go really well with those hangovers I know a lot of you will be sporting. So go put those book store gift certificates that Santa left in your stockings to good use!

And I'll try not to leave you hanging for months this time. I'll be back soon to discussed Lynne Spears' upcoming book on parenting. Oh, wait, it's on indefinite hold! Well, I'll find something else to dish about. Fear not.

And in the meantime, if you want more Cara Lockwood (and who doesn't?) check out my other blog for MTV Books: www.mtvbooks.blogspot.com.

Moby Clique

Hi all!

Sorry I've been so remiss about posting, but I'm just seriously lazy. Oh, and I'm writing TWO books at once and am chasing around my soon-to-be-one-year-old who is just starting to walk. She actually went from barely crawling to running in like 1.5 seconds, and I don't think I've managed to sit still for more than a minute since that happened.

Here's the new cover for Moby Clique, the latest and perhaps last installment of the Bard Academy series. It hits stores March 8, but I'll be giving away advanced copies before that. Just keep checking at www.bardacademy.com for more info (not yet, though, because I am just not that efficient).

And for those of you anxiously awaiting my next adult novel, I'm happy to report that I'll be writing something a little different. My next novel will be called Southern Fried Omens, and it'll be a little like Britney Spears meets the Anti-Christ with a chicken-fried steak thrown in. More on that soon!

Until then, I've got to run grab my daughter, who is currently riffling through my husband's CD collection.

Talk amongst yourselves

I have to apologize for disappearing on you this summer. There's been so much I should've been writing about! But here are a few topics I'll throw out to discuss amongst yourselves:

Britney Spears: Bad Mom or just Plain Crazy?

Paris Hilton: Apparently her recent jail time has made her re-evaluate her life. Word on the street is she wants to devote herself to charity work and to getting into David Beckham's soccer shorts. Um, yeah. I don't think Becks needs charity, Paris, but thanks for the offer!

Okay, okay, so that's all I've got at the moment. But, I promise I'll be back for more.

In the meantime, for those of you in or near Chicago, I'll be signing books along with Stacey Ballis and Laura Caldwell at Team Blonde in Forest Park tomorrow night from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. I believe their will be beads and such on sale, as well as books. It's supposed to be one fab girly night. For more info, check out: www.248bookclub.com.

Laugh It Up

I had a very strange dream last night, which I won't bore you with, but will say that it ended with me body-checking Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker's character from Sex and the City).

I don't know why this happened, but it could be because she's way too skinny and too fabulous and my subconscious couldn't take it anymore. I haven't even watched Sex and the City in ages, since it went off the air on HBO (much to my husband's relief. If he had to listen to one more Carrie Bradshaw voice-over, he would've stabbed himself in the eye - even the occasional nudity was not enough to make up for all the estrogen in the show, he said).

I might have dreamed about Carrie Bradshaw because I've been reading Jen Lancaster's new memoir ("Bright Lights, Big Ass") in which she derides the Sex and the City girls for making big city life seem so glamorous, when in reality it has much more to do with rat infestations and being broke than parties and top-shelf drinks.

By the way, if you haven't read any Jen Lancaster - YOU MUST DO SO IMMEDIATELY. Her first memoir, "Bitter is the New Black" will have you spewing Diet Coke out your nose (okay, a bit strange if you happen not to be drinking Diet Coke at the time, I admit), but seriously, she is funny.

If you're looking for other side-splitting laughs this summer, here are my top choices:

Laurie Notario (she's got her first novel out, which I am going to read RIGHT after I finish "Bright Lights, Big Ass").

Leslie Stella - (Fat Bald Jeff is one of the funniest stories about a surly IT guy, period).

McSweeney's Quarterly - This is a journal (read: anthology) formed by Dave Eggers, which is the modern definition of quirky humor.

John Hodgman (The Areas of My Expertise) - You know John Hodgman as the PC in the PC versus Mac ads, but in his book, he's cornered the market on dead pan humor. (My personal favorite is when he remarks that to be a bestselling author he needs to write a book about vampires fighting serial killers - you know, he's not wrong).

If you like Bard...

Okay, if you've read and/or like the Bard books, you're going to love Diane Peterfreund, who wrote "Secret Society Girl" and her latest - just out - called "Under the Rose." It's like Nancy Drew meets the Ivy League, and her books are completely and totally addictive.

She's having a live chat tomorrow in the Knight Agency chat room, so if you want to talk with her live and find out more about the uuber secret Rose and Grave society, head on over to www.knightagency.net, scroll down to the bottom of the page and you will see the “AGENCY CHAT” link on the right, it will take you right there.

Her books are far more thrilling than even Paris' jail antics (which, by the way, am I the only one who thinks she's a totally weenie?! And since when is ADD a reason to get out of jail? Next thing you know, PMS will get me out of a speeding ticket).

So, head on over to the chat room tomorrow at 9 and I just might see you there!

Book Signing Today!

For those of you in the Chicago area, I'll be signing books today at the Barnes and Noble at Webster Place at 7:30 tonight. I'll be appearing with Stacey Ballis (Inappropriate Men, Spinster Sisters) and Laura Caldwell (Burning the Map, The Rome Affair). We're all in that anthology, "Everything I Needed To Know About Being a Girl I Learned from Judy Blume."

Stop by and say hi!

See Jane Write

This should be the week of Plugs I Forgot To Plug, because, I have to admit there is such a thing as pregnancy brain. And, while I like to consider myself in an elite class of marketing whores, I have to admit that the nine months before December I was not at my marketing best.

Case in point, I forgot to tell you guys about "See Jane Write: A Girl's Guide to Writing Chick Lit" published last summer and written by bestseller Sarah Mylnowski (Milkrun and See Jane Date) and Farrin Jacobs (former chick lit editor).

If you're interesting in writing a novel, you can't get better advice than this. And I'm not just saying that because I'm quoted in it as an expert (honestly, I never thought I'd be considered an expert at anything, so this is a little bit of a thrill). Okay, I am just saying it's great advice because it's MY advice, but still. It's a great book for would-be writers and funny, too.

Everything's in Judy Blume

Okay, kiddos, for those of you who grew up reading "Are you there God? It's me, Margaret" and "Blubber" and snuck a peek at some older sister's copy of "Forever" have I got the anthology for you. It's called "Everything I Learned About Being a Girl, I Learned from Judy Blume."

And even better - I'm in it!

Okay, so you knew that was coming.

The book was edited by my pal and formerly fellow Chicago author, Jennifer O'Connell (Bachelorette #1, Book of Luke), which is probably the only reason I'm in it, considering the heavy hitters involved like Megan McCafferty (Sloppy Firsts), Meg Cabot (Princess Diaries) and Melissa Senate (See Jane Date). It also has the very talented Stacey Ballis (The Spinster Sisters) and Laura Caldwell (Burning the Map) and Beth Kendrick (Exes and Ohs), as well as Julie Kenner (Carpe Demon) and many, many more.

There's a lot of buzz about the book, and for good reason. Publisher's Weekly, Booklist, Entertainment Weekly, and most importantly People Magazine (I mean, if People writes it, it has to be true, which is why I do believe that Kate Middleton got a totally raw deal) all say you should buy it, which is way more objective than me saying you should buy it because I'm in it.

My humble story in the group focuses on the antics of my very-much-like-Fudge little brother, who may or may not forgive me for revealing that as a toddler he ate crickets and refused to wear clothes. But then, that's what sisters are for, aren't they?

Happy Mother's Day!

This is for all you Moms out there. You know who you are. The ones who are knee-deep in dirty diapers, spit-up or sippy cups. The ones who are shuttling kids back and forth from soccer practice, play dates and slumber parties. The ones who have lost hours and hours of sleep to teething, the flu or because you let your son or daughter borrow the family car for the first time. For working moms and stay-at-home moms, stepmoms and grandmas.

You are all my heroes!

Hope you have a great day. Now, go get your toes done! You deserve it!

Flabby Goes To the Gym and Other Post-Baby Adventures

Okay, so I have never claimed to ever really be "in shape." I am not one of those people who has any idea what they can bench press, and "spinning" class sounds to me like something to do with pottery.

I'll admit that in high school, I played for the tennis team. But, honestly, this was only to get out of gym, because in gym they made you run laps and in tennis, all I had to do was chase after a little fuzzy yellow ball. Occassionally. When I wasn't talking to the cute guys on the varsity squad. After all, I had my priorities.

So, having never really been "in shape," I decided, four months post-baby (a pregnancy during which I gained 40 pounds for my five foot one frame - and the 40 pounds is all I'm actually admitting to - what I actually gained is sealed forever in my medical records) that maybe I ought to join a gym. Our local gym happens to offer daycare and a few free personal training sessions, which I thought was perfect. I'll drop my darling daughter off, go do a few exercises with my trainer, jog around in my new, coordinating work-out outfits, and in a few weeks I'll look like Gisele.

Rewind to my first work-out with my personal trainer: after literally four leg lunges and five minutes doing stair-stepping exercises, the room starts spinning, my head gets light, and I feel like I'm going to pass out. Well, I wish I passed out. It would've saved me the embarrassment of hurling all over the brand new pristine floor in my neighborhood gym.

Yeah, apparently I was way, way, way more out of shape than I ever imagined. it seems that climbing a flight of stairs is out of my league at the moment. I'll have to work up to that by practicing sitting down and getting up from my couch.

Needless to say, I no longer have delusions of looking like Gisele. At this point, I'd settle for not passing out in the produce aisle of the grocery store because the cart is too heavy for me to push.

Luckily, typing doesn't require much upper body or cardiovascular strength, so I can blog and write novels just like I used to. Maybe that's all the exercise I need at the moment.

Speaking of work, I've just turned in a draft of the third Bard Academy book. It's called Moby Clique and it's coming out this fall.

I'm also starting a new adult book. It's still sort of a secret at the moment, but I can tell you that it's got both humor and a murder mystery at the center of its plot. More on that to come later. It won't be out until 2008. I know, I know - sounds like forever. But having a five-month-old means that I might as well be writing with a quill pen. I pretty much finish about a paragraph a day. Of course, that's when I'm not tossing my cookies at the gym.

If you're looking for a Cara-fix sooner rather than later, you can check out another of my short stories in a new kick-butt anthology coming out. It's edited by my friend, Jennifer O'Connell, and it's called "Everything I Needed to Know About Being a Girl I Learned from Judy Blume." It hits book stores June 5!

Credit Cards and other bad relationships

Ah, credit card bills. I hate them. If only my credit limit was actually what I had in the bank. Sigh. Actually, I've come quite a long way towards being a responsible adult when it comes to spending. I used to charge everything, especially shoes at DSW. I'm pretty sure in another lifetime I was Emelda Marcos.

If you want to read about my youthful days as a credit card junkie, check out my essay in "It's a Wonderful Lie: 26 Truths About Life in Your Twenties." It's edited by Emily Franklin, and if you're in your twenties, it'll make you realize you aren't the only twenty-something with problems, and if you're out of your twenties (like me), it'll make you feel old and wise. Okay, maybe not old. Just wise.

Mommyhood

Okay, so I have to apologize for leaving you guys hanging these past few weeks. This new mommy-hood thing has me sort of busy, which explains why - no matter how often I change my clothes - I always seem to be wearing spit-up. To solve this problem, my brother Matt gave me a white track suit, so that the spit-up wouldn't show!

One of you, however, did ask if I named Hana after the character in the Bard Academy books. I'll tell you that I've always liked the name, and after writing seven books, I found I used up a lot of the names I really liked. They all went to characters! And Hana was special to me, because it's a Japanese name, but also a common western name, and I figured since my daughter is a quarter Japanese and a quarter Scottish, it worked really well. And more importantly, my husband liked it (Unlike the other 20 names I really liked and he didn't). So, there you have it - the story of Hana's name!

Anyhow, speaking of new mommies, I have to say I really do feel for Britney. Normally, I am the first person to laugh at her gaffaws (um, barefoot in a trucker bathroom, anyone?). But I think there is actually something really wrong with her (First, Paris Hilton and now a shaved head? Eek!). I don't know if it's alcohol, drugs or postpartum depression, but when you make K-Fed look like the responsible parent, something is definitely wrong. So, I really hope she stays in rehab and gets the help she clearly needs.

In the spirit of reconciliation, I should offer an apology to all you blog readers out there who've been subjected to the x-rated spam comments posted on the blog. I've been slacking as Blog Administrator these past few weeks, and well, the not-so-good folks at Viagra and Hot Housewives and Underage Video have taken advantage. So, I'm sorry for all the lewd postings. I have to admit, it's kind of funny to read the "Dear Penthouse" kinds of comments. Just who is a fan of sister-on-sister action? Some guys are just such dorks. I'm so glad to be a woman, I tell you. At least my weakness is a good shoe sale and not lame internet porn.

Speaking of being glad to be a woman, my friend, Stacey Ballis, has a new book out that you MUST read! It's called The Spinster Sisters, and it's her best work yet (and given that her other books are hilarious, that says a lot!). You can read more about it at www.staceyballis.com.

Happy Belated New Year

Okay, so I've left you all hanging for the last month, and I have to apologize. I do, however, have an excellent reason for doing so, which is that on December 9, I gave birth to my first baby, a girl, Hana MacKay Lockwood, who weighed in at a hefty fighting weight of 8 lbs and 14 ounces.

Since then, as any of you moms know, it's been a blur of no sleep and scrambling to find that five minutes a day to brush my teeth. In fact, I'm sacrificing dental health at this moment to write this blog, because I have priorities, dammit!

I have no complaints, however, since I've been blessed with the Most Beautiful Baby In The World. Honestly, I feel sorry for the other babies out there. It's just no contest. Makes me think there should be a Baby Universe pageant, but only if Donald Trump didn't own it.

Speaking of, am I the only one out there who really doesn't care what he and Rosie O'Donnell say about each other? Honestly. It's like the blind fighting the blind. Or should I say the bad hair fighting the worse hair?

Anyway, on to more pressing news, which is the birth of my other child, the second book in the Bard Academy series, The Scarlet Letterman, which is now in stores. It's already getting rave reviews (of course, what would you expect from the mother of the Smartest Baby in the World?):

http://www.teensreadtoo.com/ScarletLetterman.html

Under the Influence of Paris

Okay, so I was hopeful the split of K-Fed and Brit meant a new era of enlightenment for the pop princess. Alas, this is not so! First, she starts hanging with Paris. And then suddenly she starts flashing everybody her c-section scars - and, as my friend once said, all her busy business. And I thought barefoot Britney at the gas station bathrooms was gross.

It's sad, really. I think she ought to take Rosie O'Donnell's offer to move in. She clearly needs some guidance from someone who doesn't have a sex tape in public circulation. Ee gad.

Then again, if she cleaned up her act, just what would I gossip about?

On book news, don't forget that the perfect gift this holiday for your wayward teen (or pop princess) is Wuthering High. Available in bookstores and online now!

And don't forget to enter the Win it Before You Can Buy it Contest to get your free signed copy of The Scarlet Letterman.

Have Something Nice To Say About Me?

... Well, by all means, come sit by me then. I love a good compliment. And the good reviews for "I Did (But I Wouldn't Now)" keep trickling in. You can read the latest at:

http://ritesofromancereviews.blogspot.com/2006/11/new-reviews-111106.html

And I swear I didn't even pay the reviewer this time!

Okay, well, on to more important topics. The split of Brit-erline. We all knew this day would come (I thought it might be a year and a half ago, but still. I wasn't too far off). I have to applaud Britney for finally dumping the poster boy for white trash, but I have to wonder just how dumb K-Fed has to be to let the golden goose slip out of his hands. He couldn't have been nicer to the Queen of Pop? He's going to be back in that studio apartment with 10 back-up dancers within the year.

As news of the divorce got out, K-Fed was in my city (Chicago) performing his new rap album. They couldn't give tickets away to the event. Apparently, there aren't any women in Chicago who wanted to risk the possibility of carrying K-Fed's next baby. This, of course, brings me to my next question, which is who is K-Fed going to knock up next? For purely investment purposes, I'd suggest Paris Hilton. She seems not to mind slumming these days, or getting in the middle of nasty divorces, so she'd be my number one candidate. Not to mention, it would be the perfect reality show in the making. And, if they got married, they could call the show "Feder-ella" or "Cinder-line."

Post Halloween Sugar Rush

Here's the sad thing about Halloween at my house: We don't get any trick or treaters. It's true. We live in a condo, so in order to get to us, the little tykes in costumes would have to buzz our door and head through two locked doors and up three flights of stairs.

This, however, does not prevent me from buying Halloween candy "just in case" some intrepid young trick or treater managed to find us on the third floor. Of course, in the meantime, my husband and I eat said candy. This year, I had to restock our candy supply THREE times (Since October 15, when I bought the first "just in case" candy, my husband and I devoured 2 bags of mini Snickers, one bag of Hersey bars, two bags of M&M's and one bag of candy corn).

I'm under the delusion that small candy bars actually have no calories. I mean, how can one single bite of chewy, chocolately goodness be bad for you? Even if, like me, you eat ten of them at a time?

Of course, this year, like all years, we had no trick or treaters, which made my last minute Snickers run yesterday afternoon a total waste. Of course, this just means more for me. Besides, given the fact that Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner, I figure I'd better eat up if I'm going to manage to get up to what I like to call my "Holiday Weight" which is a little like a bear's "winter weight" if bears ate mini-Snickers and wore sweatpants.

But, on the no-calorie front, I've got a new contest brewing at www.bardacademy.com. I'm giving away the brand new, never before read (except by me and my editor) sequel to Wuthering High. It's called The Scarlet Letterman and it won't be in stores until January 2007, but you can win your copy now!

We're all winners

Okay, maybe that isn't true, because there are definitely some losers out there, but I wanted you all to feel good before I announced the winners of the $100 Hollister shopping spree as part of the Bard Back To School Contest!

Since I had a couple of thousand entries, and only four winners, there are bound to be a few losers out there. But fear not, the only thing I ever won was a pair of Donkey Kong shoelaces from a Honeycomb Cereal box. They were truly the ugliest shoelaces I've ever seen, but I wore them with pride in fourth grade because I won them.

Congrats to:
Hollister Gift Certificate Winner:
Kimberly Bennett from Kunkletown, PA


Signed Copies of Wuthering High:
Nina Olszewski from Grain Valley, MO

Laurie Candela from Woolwich, NJ

John Lee from Hollywood, Fl

Be sure to check back to www.bardacademy.com in the near future because I'll be posting my newest contest - win it before you can buy it! I'm speaking, of course, of the next installment of the Bard Academy series, "The Scarlet Letterman."

The Scarlet Letterman

Hi all! I must apologize for leaving you hanging these past couple of weeks. My only excuse is, well, I really don't have much of an excuse, other than being easily distracted. Did I mention I have a short attention span?

I do, however, have the new cover for The Scarlet Letterman (the sequel to Wuthering High) which is out in January. Check it out. Feel free to tell me what you think. Not that I have any control over the art departemnt at MTV Books, but feedback is always good. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention that you can preorder The Scarlet Letterman on Amazon right now.

Also, for those of you itching for an interview with yours truly you can find it on a site called Veronika Asks.

Oh, and don't forget to enter the Bard Academy Back to School Contest for a chance to win a $100 shopping spree at Hollister. The kiddies these days tell me it's the place to get outrageously expensive overly worn jeans. Contest ends in about a week.

Premiere Week!

First of all, a HUGE thank you to everyone who braved the downpour and came to the Wuthering High book launch at the Magic Tree Bookstore in Oak Park this weekend. And thanks to the fine folks at the Magic Tree Bookstore - you couldn't meet nicer people.

Now, on to more pressing events. Like what's on my Tivo.

So it's time for the fall television season, and that means that my husband and I have been fighting nearly nonstop about what, exactly, our Tivo should be recording. Now, I realize that for the sake of our marriage, we ought to buy one of those ingenious splitters (the modern marvels that let you tape more than one channel at once). But I’m pretty techno-ignorant, and my husband has an allergy to shopping of any kind. He won’t even buy his own khakis, asking me to order them online for him, instead.

One of my friends have said that the key to her happy marriage is the fact that they have two separate (but nearly equal in screen size and quality) televisions in the house, so that she can watch Desperate Housewives while her husband watches football. I can see the merits in this.

Because my husband won’t just disagree about what we should be watching, but he can’t help himself but making a running commentary like one of those people you want to strangle at the movie theatre.

“You HAVE to be kidding me – who writes this stuff?” he’ll exclaim just as Meredith and McDreamy are about to get it on Gray’s Anatomy. Or “I am physically in pain right now, and if I watch this any longer, I may go blind,” as Susan tromps around one of her neighbor’s bushes in Desperate Housewives.

Sometimes he has a point (“Why do you insist on watching Amazing Race just to see the couples argue? We could argue right now instead!”) but most of the time, he’s just a guy, and can’t understand why I like love triangles, neighborhood intrigue and hunky supporting guys like Patrick Dempsey.

Now, to be fair, I do my share of groaning, too, like whenever he insists on watching a) old westerns, b) the old original Star Trek with William Shatner or c) football. When it comes to his favorite viewing pastime this season, football, I’m pretty mild in my criticism – I just fall asleep on the couch.

This, however, enrages my husband.

“It was the fourth quarter, and the score was tied at 21! How could you fall asleep?!”

What can I say? The roar of the crowd and the nonstop drone of empty-headed commentators (who say things like “The team that showed up to play won today” as if the other team didn’t show up to play? What? They came to knit sweaters?) just lulled me right to sleep.

And don’t get me started on Star Trek. I thought I’d outsmarted him on this one: he’d taken up so much room on our Tivo recording old Star Trek shows, that last Christmas I bought him the box set of the entire three seasons. Unfortunately, then he proceeded to sit down and watch them. And he wanted company while he did so.

If I never see Captain Kirk seduce another green-skinned alien girl again, that’ll be fine by me.

So, this week, I’m going to find out about that whole Tivo splitting thing, if only to save myself a whole fall season lineup of arguments. Besides, after watching Desperate Housewives last night, I suspect it might just be good again this season!

Wuthering High Book Launch Party

For those of you in or near the Chicago area (or those of you who love roadtrips) you are all invited to the Official Wuthering High Book Launch Party!

When:
This Saturday,
September 23, 2006
2 p.m.

Where:
The Magic Tree Bookstore
141 N. Oak Park Ave
Oak Park, IL

The first 30 patrons there will get free Wuthering High pens, so by all means, come by and say hi. I'll be doing a reading and then signing afterward. Come on down!

And for more procrastination...

And if you're looking for another distraction, check out my interview online:

http://slayground.livejournal.com/122683.html.

Another reason to procrastinate

You guys know by now that I am a huge fan of procrastination (UTube, E-Online, anyone?) so I'm always willing to pass along some procrastination tidbits for you so that you don't have to sludge through the workday actually doing work (I mean, isn't that what the hour of 2 p.m. to 3 p.m. is for? Actual work? Any other time should be spent suffering the web, IMing or emailing, in my opinion).

Anyway, the "This is Chick Lit" girls (including yours truly) are going to be on a virtual Q&A on a site called Romance Divas. We're starting tomorrow, but I think there are already some early questions being posted today. Anyway, log on, and ask any question you want. I promise to answer truthfully to everything, unless you ask me how much I weigh.

http://www.romancedivas.com/divaforum/index.php?showtopic=12775

Happy Post-Labor Day

I hope everybody had a fantastic Labor Day weekend. I know I did. I spent Monday on the couch where I paid homage to the millions of hard laborers in our great nation by watching a marathon of bad reality shows and occasionally flipping over to watch Andy Roddick on the tennis court.

When I watch tennis on TV, I like to think I'm exercising vicariously. I used to play in high school, and by watching it, I can remember all those long, grueling practices, and well, it's practically as good as going to the gym. And you know it has nothing to do with the fact that Andy Roddick is a total babe.

Ahem. But moving on...I wanted to do a couple of shameless plugs, because, well, you all know me by now, and I can't help myself.

I'm a guest blogger this month on www.literarychicks.com with some other very funny and talented chick lit authors, including my friend Beth Kendrick. She's a riot, and you ought to check out her books (including her latest, "Nearlyweds"). Read more about her at www.bethkendrick.com. You can read my entries every Friday in September.

And also, for those of you in (or near) the Chicago area, I'll be having a book launch party for Wuthering High at the Magic Tree Bookstore (141 N. Oak Park Ave) in Oak Park, Illinois on Saturday, September 23, at 2 p.m. Drop on by and say hello! I won't even pressure you to buy books, I promise. But if you do, I'll sign them.

And, last but not least, Wuthering High is getting more praise. I'm pretty sure people are saying it's the best book ever, but then again, I may just be hearing that, and what they're really saying is "it's better than watching paint dry." I've always had a talent for self-delusion, which is why I believe I can fit into size 2 pants (you know, if it weren't for that pesky water retention).

You can read a Q&A with me on MyShelf.com, along with one of these glowing reviews, at www.myshelf.com/babetoteen/column.htm.

The Scarlet Letterman

So Alex said...

Do you have any idea when the sequel to Wuthering High is going to be out?! I just read it and I LOVED IT! I also want to be a writer and I just loved how you brought all of the classics into the mix!

First of all, thank you, Alex! I might not be tech savvy (see my blunder in misreading a chatroom and missing the fact I'd won an award), but I do love praise. And yes, there will be a sequel to "Wuthering High," and it's called "The Scarlet Letterman" - I have to give a shout-out to my fabulously creative (and did I mention incredibly smart) friend Bethie, who came up with that name.

"The Scarlet Letterman" will be out in January 2007, which sounds like a long way off, but believe me, it's just around the corner. And worry not, I'll be giving away a few advanced copies, so stay tuned!

Also, speaking of contests, I've got a new one posted on www.bardacademy.com. Enter to win a shopping spree at Hollister. Okay, so it's not a shopping spree, but it is a $100 gift certificate, and in some circles I think that qualifies as a "spree." In my book, anything that's free is a spree.

click here to enter!

Psyche! I am a winner!

Okay, it's well known that I'm a big goof ball, but it seems that I was premature in declaring myself a loser this week. Turns out, I DID win the Reviewer's Choice award, along with several other winners of the Cata Network.

Maybe the person I thought took my place actually had to be disqualified because of a spread in Playboy, like a former Miss America, but I won't speculate. I think it's more likely that I'm just a big fat dork and my attention span is just too short to actually properly read message boards! It wouldn't be the first time technology has been my downfall. I am the one, after all, who nearly offered my wireless internet hub a voodoo chicken sacrifice the other day if it would only just PLEASE WORK in the air conditioned part of my condo. I'm convinced that, and the pleading and begging, helped it to work properly.

But worry not, Get Juicy! contestant runners-up, I still sent the consolation prizes this week. After all, I'm prety sure there's not that much space between a loser and a dork. We're still living in the same zip code.

Losing gracefully

Okay, so I didn't win the reviewer's choice award on Friday, but that's okay. I'm dealing with the rejection by trying to concentrate on the positives. Thankfully, the contest was online, so it's not like at a televised awards ceremony where the losers are in a split-screen with the winners, and have to put on their "oh, yeah, it's great that other girl won instead of me" face. And then, as if that's not humiliatng enough, through the winners' long acceptance speech, the camera keeps flipping back to the losers.

I don't know why they do this. Maybe they're hoping to see one of the losers actually break down in hysterics. Or mouth profanties at the winners. Or, during that disingenious part of the winner speech where she claims to be amazed she won because she was in such good company, see one of the losers flip her the bird. Now THAT would be an Academy Awards ceremony worth staying up until one a.m. to see.

Anyway, now that I'm officially a loser, er, I mean, stuck in the crowd of "it's just an honor to be nominated" folks, I have an extra empathy for my fellow losers. That's why this week I'm mailing the losers of the Get Juicy! Contest (the ones who correctly answered the trivia question about the book) free Wuthering High pens as a consolation prize. We losers have to stick together!

In other news, I'll be in my agent's chat room tomorrow night at 9 p.m. EST (for more information head to the knight agency blog, or directly to the chatroom. Drop by to say hello!

I'm Headed to the Pink Carpet

Okay, so I wasn't nominated for an Oscar (which I think would be the coolest thing ever, next to say running into Keanu Reeves in the produce section of my local grocery store or winning the Powerball lotto). But I have been nominated for Best Book of 2006 (So Far) by the incredibly intelligent and unbelievably wise reviewers of the Cata Network Readers Lounge.

I'm not sure if sucking up helps my chances of winning or not, but I'm willing to give it a shot. Besides, I'm pretty sure that recently scientists discovered that some of the most intelligent, witty and terrifically skinny women posted reviews on the Cata Network.

Winners are going to be picked tomorrow by the super models of the Cata Network, and I feel like I ought to have my hair done and buy a designer gown. Of course, I can actually wear sweatpants to this awards ceremony since it'll be held online (ah, the beauty of modern technology). But I think I might just get a pedicure anyway. Sure, you can't see my toes, but I can, and they're in sore need of some pampering.

You're all invited to the ceremony, if you'd like to pop in. I think it's going to be a kind of chat room, although I'm not sure. And fabulous people (like me and did I mention the ridiculously good-looking book reviewers of the Cata Network?) will be there.

Check out your official invite here.

Festivities, I'm told, start at 9 p.m. EST. Also, you can check out the original review (5 stars!) that lead me to where I am today (a nominee! I've always wanted to say that. So far, my only "nomination" that I've ever had is to be president of my Condo Board, and believe me, that's no honor).

We have winners!

I just love picking contest winners. Granted, I've only done it this once, but it was a lot of fun. And since I've never won anything in my life (except some shoelaces from a box of Captain Crunch once), I like spreading the joy. Congratulations to the Bard Academy Get Juicy Winners!

1st prize, Juicy Couture Wristlet:
Jennifer Grass from Endicott, NY

2nd prize: Juicy Couture Bracelet:
Tara Luterbach from Calgary, Alberta, Canada

3rd prize: Juicy Couture ipod Case:
Anita Yancey from Hampton, GA

Winners of Signed Books:

Tiffany Sullivan North Carolina; Sarah Peterson from Arizona; Kristen Lau from California; Cathy Meyer from Arizona; and Gail Gunter from Tennessee.

And many thanks to everyone who entered. For those of you who correctly answered the trivia question and didn't win, you'll be getting a special consolation prize in the mail. I promise it's cheap, but I think it's better than yellow Captain Crunch shoelaces like the ones I won when I was ten.

And by the way, for those of you who entered and didn't win, never fear. I'm going to have another contest soon. Keep checking www.bardacademy.com for more fabulous prizes. Oh, and if you just can't get enough of moi (and really, who can?) check out this new online interview:

http://www.alan-ya.org/

Girl Fight, continues

So I've mentioned the brewing literary fight between the girls who don't mind writing entertaining fiction (even if they call it chick lit) and those who are desperately trying to be Taken Seriously. There are two short story anthologies that get to the heart of this battle. One (the better one naturally, because I'm in it) is "This is Chick Lit." The other is "This is NOT Chick Lit" where basically the foreward reads like someone desperately trying to get respect at their high school reunion. The editor of said anthology actually declares that the authors within are the best women writers today. You know, so much for Toni Morrison. Someone tell her that Jennifer Weiner just dethroned her.

Not that I have anything against Jennifer Weiner. Or any of the other authors included in the "This is NOT Chick Lit" book. Most of them are charming, talented writers.

But here's the thing. My feeling is anyone who goes around shouting "I'm a serious author! I'm literary!" is protesting a wee bit too much. It's a lot like standing up at the gym and shouting "I have a really small butt!"

Let's face it, if you have one, people already know you do. If you don't, well, shouting about the fact that you do isn't going to change the fact that you wear size XXXXXXXL pants.

But, read more about "This is Chick Lit" on the brand new site:

www.thisischicklit.com.

And in completely frivilous news, don't forget that you just have two days to enter the Get Juicy! Contest. Drawing is Tuesday!

I'm melting!

I must apologize for neglecting this blog! Summer has really gotten away from me this year, and I think it has to do with the fact that it's really, super, asphault-melting hot out there.

Global warming anyone?

It's supposed to hit a hundred degrees in Chicago today and might be the hottest day of the year. I grew up in Texas, but that doesn't mean that I like 100 degree weather. In fact, it means that I'm a Central AC girl, which unfortunately, I don't have in Chicago. So, I've barracaded myself in my bedroom with my new AC window unit, and I'm praying we don't have any blackouts.

But, on to cooler news (much cooler!) I've just found another glowing review of Wuthering High:

http://www.curledupkids.com/wuthhigh.htm

This proves that Wuthering High isn't just for kids - adults like it too! If you haven't checked it out yet, head to www.bardacademy.com for more info. And by the way, don't forget to enter the Get Juicy contest, if you haven't already. I'll be giving away posh accessories August 15. Okay, so it's not a car like Oprah, but on the upside, you don't have to pay $5,000 in taxes on it, either.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go stick my head in my freezer.

Where's Suri? And Do We Really Care?

Okay, so in between writing the sequel to Wuthering High, and doing other various, author-like things, I've still managed to find time to read up on my celebrity gossip in US Weekly and People magazine. I haven't managed to vacuum at all, but I have priorities - sheesh. People comes first. Besides, technically, I read People for the book reviews. Can you say, business expense? Ahem. Anyway.

So, US Weekly is running on their website a clock counting down to the second the time that's elapsed since the birth of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' baby, Suri, which happens to be the same amount of time since we haven't seen the little bambino (83 days, twelve hours and counting). I've heard all kinds of rumors about why this is - like they tried to sell exclusive baby pictures but were disappointed they didn't fetch as much as the Brangelina Baby to Suri is actually an alien who can't be exposed to sunlight.

Okay, so I haven't heard that part about Suri being an alien, but given the Scientology obsession, I couldn't help throwing that in there. But here's the thing. I don't care if I don't see TomKat's kin. I think we should all be glad they're laying low for awhile. I mean, I don't need to see Tom jumping on any couches any time soon, thanks. My new book Wuthering High is about a haunted boarding school, but nothing in it is as scary as Tom Cruise going off on Matt Laurer about prescription drugs. Ee gad.

And by the way, speaking of Wuthering High, it's featured on Barnes and Noble's picks for teen reading this week. Check it out.

And if you haven't yet, don't forget to enter the Get JUICY Contest!

Wuthering High Hits Stores - Stampedes Ensue

Okay, so I don't think there are any stampedes. Officially, Wuthering High comes to a book store near you this weekend (everywhere by July 4). If you haven't yet bought your copy - what are you waiting for? Sure, it's for teens. But aren't we really teens at heart?

Sarah wrote in and wanted to know how many books would be in the Bard Academy series. There's definitely one more in the series (because I just finished it and turned it into my editor), but the rest of the series is up the air. I'd love to write more Bard Academy books, but it really depends on how well they sell. This means that if you want to see more of them, tell everyone you know to buy one! Reading, as always, is optional. The buying is the thing.

I'm officially out of contracts with my publisher, so I won't find out until September if I'm renewed, or if like Star Jones, I'll be surfing the pages of Monster.com for a new job!

By the way, who else secretly loved the fact that Star Jones got the public smackdown from Baba Wawa?

And by the way, don't forget to enter to win fab prizes at www.bardacademy.com/contests.html

Happy Fourth of July to everyone!

Win Fab Prizes!

Okay, so you all who know me know that I am shameless when it comes to self-promotion. However, this doesn't mean that I don't appreciate you listening me drone on about moi. In fact, to reward you, I'm having a special contest to help promote my new book, Wuthering High, which hits book shelves this week. (Ahem, and as my Dad tells me, since he's already pre-ordered his copy, it is also shipping now from Amazon).

Go to www.bardacademy.com/contests.html and enter to win Juicy Couture accessories, and pass along the link to anyone you know in the teen set (or who's young at heart like I am!).

The Lockwoodettes Party!

Okay, I think I may have mentioned before that I have the best friends ever, and I have to say, it's true. I have the best friends EVER! I know you probably have some good friends. I'm sure they are good. They may ever been great. But are they the BEST FRIENDS EVER?

Take, for instance, Kate Miller, one of the stars in the Lockwoodette Posse. Not only did she buy up all the books in the store, last night she threw me a fantastic book signing party the likes of which I doubt many Wednesday nights have ever seen before. There was wine and fruity drinks. There was food. There was lots and lots of fabulously dressed and very witty attendees. It was, in short, a party only one of the most dedicated friends in the world could throw. (Thank you, Kate!).

Mind you, Kate managed to throw said fab party after only a day before having her central AC die, which would've made for a very sticky party situation with our humid, 90 degree days of late. But she prevailed, and I think she only had to promise to sell her first-born child to Visa to have the new AC installed. This is what I call friendship, people! You don't know the total cost of her bill. As she put it, the cost can be summed it up two words: "Holy Crap!"

Thanks again to everyone who came! And a special thanks to my talented friend, Christina, who personally made party favors - keepsake bookmarks. They were as fantastic as the people who came. Thanks, everybody!

Come on Down

For those of you in or near Chicago, I'm going to be signing books at the Old Orchard Barnes and Noble in Skokie this Friday, June 23, at 7:30 p.m. I'll be reading from "I Did (But I Wouldn't Now)" and signing books with Stacey Ballis, fellow Chicagoian and the very funny author of Inappropriate Men and her latest, Room for Improvement. Stacey is a riot, and if you think I'm entertaining, trust me, she takes the cake!

Drop by if you want to chat, tell us how great we are, buy our books, or if you'd just like to make a stop on your way to check out the Lacoste store at Old Orchard. I won't mind.

Hope to see you there!

Birthdays, and other reasons to eat cake

Sorry for the delay! I was busy celebrating my birthday week (festivies continue through the end of June). There's nothing quite like having guilt-free cake. Isn't cake consumed on your birthday calorie free? As, of course, are all alcoholic beverages.

As for the best birthday present ever, I heard about some more good reviews for I Did:

www.inthelibraryreviews.net/LockwoodCara.html#ididbutwouldnt

And one for Bard:

www.inthelibraryreviews.net/LockwoodCara.html

It's always good to know that my mom isn't my only fan. :) By the way, thanks to everyone who wrote in about being excited about Bard! I think you'll really like it. You don't have to be 15 to enjoy it, either. In fact, I found that writing about teen life was a lot more fun from an adult's perspective. Plus, it's the summer, and we all need a little action and adventure!

For those of you who missed it, the new Bard site can be found at www.bardacademy.com.

Bard Online

I am very lucky to have some very talented friends. One of them, Christina, has just finished a fabulous new web site for Bard Academy (the new series of teen books I'm doing). You can visit it at www.bardacademy.com.

If you like the classics, and you are a secret fan of teen shows like I am (there is something addictive about MTV's "My Sweet 16" even I have to admit), then I think you'll really like Bard Academy.

The first in the Bard Academy series, Wuthering High, is out this fourth of July. What better way to celebrate our nation's birthday than a little trip to a haunted boarding school where ghosts of famous writers stalk the students? I mean, that's as American as apple pie, isn't it?

My mom thinks so. And, by the way, Mom gives her maternal seal of approval for Wuthering High. She read it last week and gave it two thumbs up. And, if you think she's too biased to give an honest opinion, I should tell you that my good friend Shannon also gave it her approval. And she's very particular about what she reads, and isn't afraid to tell me when something really stinks, either. I love her for that. If she's on board, you KNOW it has to be good. And I didn't even bribe her with a shopping trip to DSW Shoe Warehouse.

Happy Day-After-Memorial Day

So, I, like most of you, spent the weekend in somber reflection of the sacrifice of our veterans. And by somber reflection, I mean stuffing myself with an obscene amount of bbq, while awaiting word from Namibia about Brangelina's baby.

Thankfully, the Brangelina baby made an appearance, so now we can all stop obsessing about how the World's Most Beautiful Baby can never be president of the United States (being born on foreign soil). I mean, sure, the baby is being touted as the New Hope for Humanity's Gene Pool, but she'll never give a State of the Union address. Unless Schwarzenegger manages to get an amendment passed before Shiloh turns 35.

In other news, it's hot here in Chicago. And by hot, I mean that it is really freakin' hot. Now, I grew up in Dallas, where you could get third degree burns from your steering wheel if you were foolish enough to leave your car out in the sun without a windshield visor. So, I like to think I'm tough, but frankly, my condo is sweltering. I knew it was bad yesterday when my Yankee Candles started to melt without being lit first. The real problem is that I, like most Chicagoians, don't have central air.

Even my laptop is sweating. And that can't be a good thing. I tried to find refuge at the mall, but the closest one to me is an outdoor mall. I don't know what genius figured that was a good idea (Christmas shopping in three feet of snow, anyone?). Thankfully, Nordstrom is air-conditioned, and has all the major life support needs (food and drink at the cafe, shoe sales and an endless supply of beauty products). If they had a bedding section, I would've probably slept there.

I'm off to buy a Super Giant Big Gulp. I think maybe if it's big enough, I could try swimming in it.

Stay cool!

Girl Fight, Part Duex

So, the girl fight continues.

You can take a sneak peek at the cover of "This is NOT Chick Lit" on Amazon (black with bold pink print). For those of you who don't know, I'm in the opposing anthology called "This is Chick Lit," available in June. (For more on this, see my last post.)

Now, to add fuel to the fire, Gloria Steinem has been quoted as saying:

“This Is Not Chick Lit is important not only for its content, but for its title. I’ll know we’re getting somewhere when equally talented male writers feel they have to separate themselves from the endless stream of fiction glorifying war, hunting and sports by naming an anthology This Is Not a Guy Thing.”

Now, I have immense respect for Gloria Steinem. But, I think the whole idea that anything with "chick" in the title is demeaning is taking things a bit too far.

I like chick flicks. And chick lit. And chick rock. Heck, I even like the Dixie Chicks. It might, although I'm not positive here, have something to do with the fact that I AM a chick. I mean, what next? Will I have to abandon pedicures and shopping because it will undermine my credibility? Or stop watching Desperate Housewives or Gray's Anatomy because my husband makes fun of them?

Not to mention, I think Ms. Steinem might be out of touch. Has she heard of Metrosexuals? "A Guy Thing" today might include an eyebrow wax.

But, all that being said, I am a feminist, but I'm also a humanist. (I'm rooting for both sexes - that is, unless my husband wants the remote).

Girl Fight

So while I'm figuring out just what Novel 5 is going to be about, there is a way to get your chick lit fix BEFORE next spring.

In fact, at the end of June, there's going to be a fantastic short-story anthology out called "This is Chick Lit" featuring authors such as Lauren Baratz-Logsted (The Thin Pink Line), Jennifer Colburn (The Wife of Reilly and Reinventing Mona), Arielle Papa (On the Verge), Heather Swain (Eliot's Banana), Caren Lissner (Carrie Pilby) and Me - of course.

The reason this book is called "This IS Chick Lit" is because there's an anthology by a group of authors called "This is NOT Chick Lit" coming to a book store near you. Now, I don't know if you all know about the brewing debate about Chick Lit, but it basically goes like this:

There are some women writers who resent their fiction being labeled as "chick lit" and feel it's demeaning and undercuts their literary credibility. There are other writers - like me - who don't really care what you call it, as long as readers find and enjoy said books.

The dueling short story anthologies point out the differences in both camps. Personally, my general philosophy is to write for readers, not write for critics, so I don't really care how derisive the New York Times is of girly covers. I mean, I'm not writing for them. But that's just my two cents.

Anyway, look for This is Chick Lit, coming soon!

Some news and a glimpse into the future

First off, I'd like to say thanks for everybody who's written in to say they like "I Did!" I seriously must have the fastest (and smartest) readers of any author I know. You guys are the best.

Second order of business, for those of you fast, smart readers in the Chicago area, I'll be at Barbara's Books in Marshall Field's in the loop tomorrow at noon signing copies of "I Did (But I Wouldn't Now)." By the way, they make fabulous belated Mother's Day gifts (at least, my mom thinks so).

Third order of business (and not in any way the least important), Sara posted a very good question on the blog recently, which is "What's next for me in chick lit?"

Unfortunately, the answer is: I don't know.

I'm between contracts at the moment, and my agent is talking to my editor right now trying to work out a new agreement. Fear not, I suspect that I'll still have a chick lit book out in 2007.

As for possible topics, I'm kicking around the idea of a sequel to Dixieland Sushi (Jen goes to London to meet Riley's quirky family and then when Jen's family gets word that she's (possibly) eloped the whole Nakamura clan flies in).

The other idea is one I'd been thinking about for a while, a kind of he-said, she-said modern retelling of Taming of the Shrew. But, at this point, maybe neither one of those ideas will actually become a book. You never know with these things. Ideas are strange that way. Some of them are definitely book-length, while others pitter out around fifty pages.

Sara says she wants to see a sequel Pink Slip Party - and so do I! I'm just trying to figure out the best way to do it. When I have a stroke of brilliance - which I haven't had yet, but one can still hope - I will let you know.

Dirty Dish-ing

So, I must apologize because I have been woefully neglectful of a very important topic - celebrity gossip. I've been entirely too book-focused of late, and have skirted my responsibility (as a consumer of People magazine and occassionally US Weekly) to dish dirt on celebrities.

Frankly, even for the part of my brain that stores celebrity gossip (I believe it's the entire left side of my brain, because I certainly can't do math), it's been a bit of an overload recently.

Where to start? Katie Holmes, Suri and Insane Tom Cruise (I'm sure Tom will sue me shortly after this is posted to have this removed from my blog)? Denise Richards running off with Richie Sambora? K-Fed officially being crowned the Most Fertile Man in North America?

One of you asked recently about my thoughts of Britney and K-fed's news, so I suppose I should start there. Recently, I defended her against the tabloid speculation that Britney wasn't in shape because she was preggers (because she wasn't Playboy-ready in 2.4 seconds like the rest of Hollywood's elite). I thought even Britney, whose bad judgment is legendary (marrying K-fed, going barefoot in trucker bathrooms and driving with baby Sean Preston in her lap) would know better than to let Kevin near her without proper protection (Frankly, I would be wary of sharing an elevator with him at this point). I was, however, proven wrong.

All I can say is that I certainly hope Spears, Jr. #2 benefits from the hardwon parental lessons of Sean Preston. And, that Britney forgoes nanny help (least spending too much one-on-one time with K-Fed leads to Accident #3).

Now, on to the Denise Richards saga. I met Denise and soon-to-be ex Charlie on the set of the Lifetime adaptation of "I Do (But I Don't)." (And yes, I realize this is name-dropping, but as I've said before, what's the point of meeting celebs if you can't tell people you have?) Lately, my friends have been asking me if the 10.2 minutes I spent in Charlie's company led me to believe he was capable of surfing (possible child) porn, or doing any of the other things alleged in Denise's custody battle papers.

The answer is no. Charlie was very well-behaved, had a firm handshake, was all eyes for baby daughter Sam, and carried on a very pleasant conversation with me that had nothing do with drugs or hookers. He was very nice, in fact. He said he'd seen my book around the house and liked the cover art. I'll take compliments, even when I don't deserve them (for art I didn't create), so that earns him points in my book.

I can't pretend to know what happened between those two (although I do because I carry on the charade that they have my number on speed dial), although the very fact that Denise is now allegedly roaming about L.A. with Richie Sambora tells me perhaps poor Denise might be suffering from some of the same problems Britney is in the judgment department.

But what do I know? That's just my two cents.

The Lockwoodettes

There are a group of friends I thank in the acknowledgements of "I Did (But I Wouldn't Now)" that I call my back-up singers, the Lockwoodettes. The lead singer, Ms. Kinsella, I dished about last week. Her tearful antics have sold me dozens of books, and for that I am forever grateful.

Not to be outdone, Kate Miller decided to buy out the local Borders herself. Lockwoodette Swartz had this to say about Ms. Miller:

Cara,
Let me paint a picture for you...Charlie [Ms. Swartz's adorable schnoodle] and I are walking down the street last night around 7pm, much to our surprise a cute vintage Volvo slows down & out pops Kate Miller's head. She pulls over, we cross the street to say hello & as I slowly approach the car I peer in to say hello-- there it was...the ENTIRE front seat was filled with fresh brand new copies of "I did (But I wouldn't Now)"!! I think she wiped out the store's stock--she must have! I think she even justified her actions by saying "I did leave a few for other people!"

Anyway just wanted to keep you updated on your roaming PR team & if you check sales stats, I'm positive they spiked around 6:30 Monday evening--its all Kate's fault

It just goes to show that the Lockwoodettes work very hard to earn their acknowledgements. Thanks, girls! And by the way, anyone else doing incredible PR feats (including but not limiting to: getting strangers and/or friends to buy the book, buying multiple copies, and/or moving books around the bookstore for better placement), you, too could earn a shout out in future books. Email me with your PR stories. I'm nothing if not easily bought.

Marketing Whores are a Girl's Best Friend

Okay, if you live in the Chicago area, you might already know my friend, Bethie. She knows everyone in Chicago, although she claims there are a few people she doesn't know, but we all know that's just false modesty. Bethie, one of my nearest and dearest, is a woman of many talents. She not only puts Martha Stewart to shame, but this graduate of Second City is not afraid to corral strangers in book stores to buy my books.

Just last night, she convinced two strangers to buy my book by her patented "I'm in the acknowledgements" ploy, in which she heads to the front tables, picks up my book and then promptly bursts into tears. When she has a big enough crowd, she'll tell people the reason: that she's in the acknowledgements of said book. She claims she only does it to ensure she has a spot every year and because, naturally, she's my "Midwestern representation" and a self-proclaimed marketing whore. Honestly, if my books came with gold plaques, she'd have her name engraved.

Did I mention how much I love this girl?

Of course, she also extends the same PR to her two uncles, also published authors, Kevin O'Brien, a.k.a. master of the suspense novel, and her other uncle, Mike Leonard, whose new book is already on the bestseller lists.

Anyway, Chicagoians, beware. She's coming to a book store near you, and she's not afraid to cry.

Even Desperate Housewives Read

So, I used to be a huge fan of Desperate Housewives. Who wasn't? Then, it sort of got a little dull in the first half of the second season. That's when I turned the channel to BBC America and started watching Footballers Wives (if you haven't seen it, you must!).

Recently, however, I've tuned back in to DW, and it's gotten interesting again. I mean who isn't secretly hoping that Edie finds out Susan is the "other woman" and then beats the snot out of her? I'm sorry, but I've seen way too many close-ups of Susan's "oops - I screwed up again!" face.

But, I digress. The point is that back when Desperate Housewives was must-see Sunday TV (and it's creeping back up my Tivo list as we speak), I wrote an essay for a book about Desperate Housewives, called "Welcome To Wisteria Lane," which hits book stores later this month. Okay, so maybe I need to work on my sales pitch on this one, but even if DW has been uneven, this collection isn't!

My friend and fellow Downtown Press novelist, Beth Kendrick, also has a fantastic essay on motherhood (anyone who feels Susan ought to quit using her daughter as a therapist, needs to read this essay!).

My essay deals with the dangers of suburbia. Why is it that all the intrigue on TV soaps happens in the 'burbs? You've got to read the essay to find out! Check out the book on Amazon.

Tom Kitten and other calamities

Hi all,

So sorry I've been awol this last couple of weeks. I was trying to free Katie Holmes from the insanity that is Tom Cruise, but alas, I was unsuccessful. Is it just me, or does she have a glassy-eyed look in all the pictures of hers like her mind's permanently situated in its happy place? Personally, I think whoever was Tom Cruise's publicist for 10 years before she was fired and replaced by his sister, deserves serious kudos. He or she sat on a volcano of craziness for years and never let it actually erupt.

When I wasn't running celebrity interventions, I've been busy launching the new book - "I Did (But I Wouldn't Now)" - which is in some stores now, and coming to all stores very soon. You can also buy it now on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

And, in other news, I've finally joined the new millennium and gotten a page on Myspace. Given that I am over the age of 30, I feel a little like a creepy old person, BUT, some of my 20-something friends say it's the all rage among the kiddies, so I'm trying my hand at it, because you're only as old as you feel right? Anyway, my myspace page is http://www.myspace.com/caralockwood. It's bare and ugly because I am a myspace virgin, but I'm learning folks! If you're on myspace, invite me to be your friend. I think I have three friends at the moment, and one of them is Tom, which doesn't count because he's everybody's friend.

Mom really DOES know best!

Okay, I'm sure you're sick of me singing my own praises by now (I could lie and tell you that I am, too, but really, does a person ever get tired of bragging? I mean, really). My only excuse is that I'm sure I'll get an ugly Amazon review that will make me want to spend the day in bed, and this is just to balance all those out.

Two more reviewers sound off about "I Did" and they agree with Mom:


http://www.romancejunkies.com/artman/publish/article_4708.shtml

and


http://freshfiction.com/review.php?id=7971

Mother always knows best

It's less than a month now until the May 2 release of "I Did (But I Wouldn't Now)" the sort-of sequel/spin off to "I Do (But I Don't)" and I'm excited.

It's gotten at least two good reviews - one from an objective critic and one from my mom, who has never claimed to be objective, but has said, repeatedly, "I think this is the funniest novel I've ever read, and I'm not just saying that because I'm your mother and I have to."

Mom also says that this novel is funny until the very end, and doesn't let you down, like some other books do. That's mom-speak for "I liked it. I REALLY liked it! And I'm not just saying that because I'm your mother."

Now, if that doesn't sell you on the book, I don't know what will. This is my mom we're talking about. Forget the New York Times. Moms always know best.

Now, I won't tell you what my brother has to say on the subject, namely because he doesn't read my books. In general, his motto is "I don't read anything except the sports section" and if pressed, he'll say, "You want me to read this? It has purple on the cover!"